Note To Self...

Don't ever go out of the house to drive after 5pm. You will not get to where you're going for an hour and then you've got to drive back and guess what? It's still rush hour!

Oi. Learned that reminder the hard way when I thought I could make a quick run to the grocery store for some grub. Bad idea.

Though, while I was at the grocery store (after I finally made it) there were black men who were selling shoes, or at least trying to. I got a weird cat call where the lead guy was bellowing to women passing by, "Oh I KNOW you got a man!" and he would point to us. One girl had two men, I apparently had three. I don't know who or where these three men I supposedly have are but they are not getting shoes sold in a grocery store parking lot. And while I was in the store I witnessed the weirdest punishement of a child ever. An older black woman caught, who I believe (read: hope) was her grandson, sitting on the railing for the corral of the shopping carts. She pulled him down and very sternly said: "This is a repentance. I want you to repent." I was stunned. Partly because I was expecting her to swat his bottom right then and there and partly because that's got to be the most ineffective punishment ever. I feel for that kid cause he's either going to grow up to rebel in the most horrible way possible or he's going to pass that nonsense on to a new generation.

Observation: Definitely, Maybe Not

While watching the Grammy's and keeping my tally (thus far, one black artist has thanked god), I saw a preview for the film Definitely, Maybe, starring the once uber muscled Ryan Reynolds as a dad telling his daughter the bedtime story of how he met her mother. The thing with this film is that the girl apparently doesn't know who her mother is, so it's her job to figure out which one of daddy's girlfriends is his baby momma out of three possible candidates.

What got me when I saw the trailer to this is why the fuck doesn't this kid know who her mother is? Unless you're abandoned at birth isn't that kind of hard? If the mom's died why are there no pictures? If the dad's getting a divorce, well, that's an obvious question. My friend and I went through various situations and all of them lead back to the kid should know who her momma is, unless the mom ran off after the birth and the dad was so upset he just never told her, which is a kind of assholish thing of him to do. The kid should know who her mom is is what I'm saying.

As I caught another preview for the film that thought popped in my mind again, and I thought it would have been more believable for a child to figure out who their father is, but immediately after I had that thought I realized how impossible a film like that would be to get made, because, while Ryan Reynolds can have a relationship with three different women at various times and could get one pregnant at any while not being with the other two, the reverse would basically be a mother telling her kid that she had sex with three dudes during the same time period. And that would make her a slut and we just can't have that. Ryan Reynold's being a slut is perfectly acceptable but as far as we've come we just can't have women having sexual relations with three different guys unless there's an acceptable space, like, say a year, between them.

I won't be seeing Definitely, Maybe for the answer to my question, but I'm sure someone will tell me how the writer designed it so the kid doesn't know who her mother is.

F*ck the Gubment

You know what I hate? Calling the Employment Development Department for the state of California. While they have some awesome agents when you do actually get on the phone, it takes FOREVER to get through. I've been doing an experiment where I've been calling-literally-every three minutes for the last two hours and NOTHING. Hell, chance alone should have worked in my favor one of those times. What is it with our government and it's shittiness?

UPDATE: Exactly how long did it take me to get through to the EDD? Three hours. But as always I got a very awesome and understanding agent who squared me away in under five minutes. All will be right with the world...

WTF? #2

When I was at Target yesterday I was walking to the electronics section and on my way there what did I pass? An entire section of Halloween candy and accessories. That in and of itself wasn't odd, it's SUPPOSED to be there, it's Halloween season after all. No, what I found odd was what was across the aisle from the oodles and oodles of Halloween candy: CHRISTMAS CARDS.

That's right, we're no longer waiting for November 1st it seems, that's just too far away. Hell, we're not even waiting until the end of October. We've got to start Christmas shopping RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!.

Arrgh.

Observation

I caught the beginning of the Justin Timberlake special on HBO tonight, right when he was performing "Senorita." There's a part in the song where he does a to/from call (or whatever it was called) between the men and women. I was a bit confused. When he had the guys do their part it stayed focused on Justin and the male members of his band, but when they did the female call the cameras cut to the audience where hundreds of young, probably hormonal women, let out the chant without so much of a reminder of what they were supposed to be saying and you could hear it echo throughout Madison Square Garden. They went back to the men's portion and once again it cut to Justin and his band, and there was no such echo from the men in the audience. "I wonder," I wondered, "why they're showing the female audience of the crowd and not the men."

And then I had a revelation: This was a fucking Justin Timberlake concert. There were no men in the audience.

I Think I've Been Had

About two weeks ago I was talking to one of my co-workers who's down the hall from me in production and we're hanging out after hours and he telling me how ignorant of TV he is, so much so that he's dating an actress on one of the most popular TV shows out there now and he had no idea who she was. I asked him what her name was and he tells me. I will admit I was impressed, not so much by the fact of who he was dating, but by the fact that he honestly had no idea who she was. That smacked of a bit of B.S. to me but I let it go 'cause we were on our way to a one a.m. dinner at Dennys.

However, today I'm reading a gossip blog and there's a post about said actress and her boyfriend and the name is not of my co-worker. With a puppyish head cock to the side I go, "hmmm" and rethink our conversation. I come to three possible answers: 1) they have broken up and she has moved on very quickly 2)I misheard what he said due to loud music and the conversation might have been in past tense 3) he's lying and I've been had.

He seems like a nice guy so I don't want to think badly of him, but I also don't want to bring this up either. It would be awkward and there's no real subtle way to go, "Hey, you know that actress girlfriend you were dating? Well, apparently she's banging someone else."

Methinks I'll just let it go.

Observation

It's not very fun to watch Food Network when you're hungry. Not. At. All.

Observation

Oreo's new Cakesters are like lite, puffy, chewy orgasms. And they taste good too.

Damn Hummer

I come home from a hard days work at my job and a good workout at the gym and what do I find in my parking space? A fucking Hummer. I don't know why it was there or whose it was but I was not happy. That's my $25 a month parking space and I happen to like it. I parked in another slot this time but if the fucker is there tomorrow I'm blocking the asshole in.

And later I will complain to the landlord.

Damn Hummer.

Posting...

Posting might be scarce for a while cause I have to do actual, you know, work. But the moment something interesting happens I'll let you know.

Work Ethic

I have no misconceptions that I, for the most part, am a desk jockey. While I might not sit at a desk all day (the other half of the day is behind a table) I do spend a majority of my time on my keaster typing out things, whether for myself of my bosses.

However, despite that obvious fact, at the end of the day I find myself in a surprising state: tired.

I feel I have no right to be tired, as technically, I have put forth no real physical effort. I sit. And I type. Occasionally (when I'm not a nervous wreck for no damn reason) I speak. And I get fed so I don't have to forage for my own food. For eight hours a day one could say that I really do nothing. So what's with the being tired?

Though it's not doing something productive like, say, being a doctor, or teaching, anyone who's a desk jockey in a cubicle can understand that you don't always have to be working from lack of sleep or trying to teach the next generation, or hell, working in a coal mine, in order to be tired. As a matter of fact, the very act of sitting all day can be tiring, especially after you've eaten lunch.

We'll eat around 12 or 1pm and then by 4 I'm reeling from my lack of a nap. Top that off with me dragging (nay, kicking) my ass to the gym and by the time I get home I'm exhausted.

So what is it about sitting all day that makes one tired? I pose this question to my fellow desk jockeys, commence to answering!

(Three Days Till Comic-Con!)

Window Of Opportunity

I learned today that when you get a chance to do something, something that may impress people, it's best to just go ahead and do it instead of waiting, because the moment you think might come up again, probably isn't going to come up again. And it feels really shitty when you miss that window you've been waiting for to show your stuff.

....Then again, the damn idea didn't occur to me until after we'd broken for lunch so maybe I just need to teach my brain to think faster.

Auto Erotic

You you don't already know me then something to learn about me is that I love Lamborghinis (Lamborghiny?). Absolutely. Frakking. LOVE them. I fell in love with the car when I was young and my brother had two car books: One of Porsche and one of Lamborghini. I guess I naturally gravitated toward the body design of the Lamborghini. There was also this movie called Speed Zone, a sequel to The Cannonball Run, where one of the main characters drives a red Lamborghini (he didn't win) and that probably had something to do with it (actually, it had a lot to do with it).

Since I've been in L.A. I've seen only a few of my favorite cars out in the open. And it never gets old. It's still exciting every time. Tonight, coming from the gym, I saw a Lamborghini pulling into the parking structure. It was an ugly, burnt orange color, which seems to be all the rage now, and it didn't have a spoiler but I still found myself turning my head almost 180 degrees. Had it really wanted to win my affection it would have had a spoiler and been black, or silver, or yellow or some combination thereof. But it was still sweet. And I wouldn't kick it out of my garage.