And the Darwin Award Goes To...

Spokane man accidentally shoots self in face.

Way to go, Billy Bob.

Contest Update

So on Tuesday the lot I work for had the drawing for the winners of the first week of their save gas/parking spaces contest. They drew the names on Tuesday morning but decided it was too much trouble to write them out and post them online so they waited until 1 in the afternoon on Wednesday (today). Sadly, on this inaugural outing I didn't win anything.

Not. One. Thing.

I didn't even win one of those crappy cheap lot prizes that they had an abundance of.

I am not deterred, however. I will continue to ride the bus, if only because it really does save me on gas. And I will continue to drop in my contest tickets, if only because I'm riding the bus and might as well anyway. There are still plenty of weeks to win at least a shitty lot prize and in the end even if I don't win anything I will still have the reward of saving the environment. And the lot's parking spaces.

Again?

This is usually Kenny's territory (see; Fat People Are Beneath Contempt) but after witnessing the awfulness that is the Disaster Movie trailer I must say we need to call a cessation on all these [Insert Genre Here] Movies. Or, if only to make the writers actually earn the laughs, limit the references to the movies that, you know, actually FIT THE GENRE. Hannah Montana and Sex and the City might be topical but they have absolutely nothing to do with disaster movies and everything to do with laziness. And the poster is just stupid.

Incentives

I am currently working on a major studio lot. Yesterday, when driving to this lot I was stunned to find myself having to drive all the way to the roof to park, as it was 8:50a.m. and lack of parking spaces usually occurs for the slackers who arrive after 9:30a.m.

Now, I don't often drive, which will become an important tid bit momentarily. But twice a week I do drive because I go to my gym in the morning and then shower and head to work. It's good for me because it's first thing in the morning when I actually have the energy to even think about exercising. Anyway, I head into the lot and discover why there are almost no parking spaces so early in the morning: The lot is operating at full capacity. Every single stage is being occupied and will be through till fall.

You can imagine how difficult this will become for many people, especially the lot itself but they have come up with a way to dissuade drivers from driving their car to the lot:

Though good ole' American competition.

Our lot is having a weekely giveaway, only eligible to people who use "alternate" means of transportation to get to work. That's carpool, bike, bus or, god forbid, walking.

Now revelation that I only drive to work twice a week becomes important: I'm already using public transportation to get to work. I've got the bus pass and everything!

Since I use the buss and I'm already in the system I got my little ticket vouchers that you turn in every day to show that you've not polluted the earth or taken up precious space in the parking garage. And every week there will be a drawing for one of five awesome prizes, the biggest of which is over a grand.

So I'm going after that weekly grand prize. Though I missed yesterday I will from now on be taking the bus to work and home every day and hitting the gym nearer to my apartment at night (which will be totally hard as I'm super tired at the end of the day and the bus doesn't exactly help). Every week I will log on to post and let you know if and what I've won.

Wish me luck!

R.I.P. Stan Winston

It's hard to process my feelings right now on this incredibly sad news. I didn't know the man personally, wasn't anything more than an avid fan of his work but I find myself extremely sad now. Stan Winston was one of the best special effects artists of his, and especially our time. As special effects gear more and more toward what can be created in a computer Stan Winston stood above as someone who could actually build a creature and bring it to life.

Were it not for Stan Winston I wouldn't have been scared out of my mind watching John Carpenter's The Thing. Were it not for Stan Winston my mouth wouldn't have hung open in total awe and disbelief as the T-1000 pulled it's liquid metal form from the floor of the mental institution that housed Sarah Connor, or I wouldn't have felt the urge to cry along with Dr. Ellie Sadler as she (and I) saw the might of the Brontosauruses as they grazed in the field of Jurassic Park. Had it not been for Stan Winston, the Predator would have been nothing but a goofy faced failure, but Winston, called in at the last minute, took a fateful plane trip with James Cameron who goaded his friend's artist rendering by quipping, "You know, I'd like to see something with mandibles," and Winston took the challenge and it lead to one of the greatest ugly motherfuckers of my generation. Winston also had a hand in the Predator's greatest nemesis, improving upon an already existing concept by designing the queen alien in Aliens, which to this day is my all time favorite film. And, while he didn't design it himself, Winston took a turn behind the camera to direct Pumpkinhead, another all time favorite, which to this day I cannot watch late at night because it's still a guarantee to give me nightmares.

I personally had hoped to work with Stan Winston one day, as he was at the top of my list to design and make the things I write that go "bump" in the night. I am saddened that I will never get this opportunity to work with him personally and he and his creations will be deeply missed. His last turn in creating awesome designs came with Iron Man and he should be deeply proud that that is the last stamp he left on the world. Iron Man was a better movie for having him build the suit instead of leaving it all up to computers.

Rest in peace, Stan Winston. You will be greatly missed.

The Homoerotic Jokes Write Themselves...

So I don't have to.

Something You'll Probably Never Hear at Your Job, Part Two

"I'm going to need you to photocopy your ass."

And there is a second part to this which I believe I can safely say you will NEVER hear at your job:

"Okay, I need you to do it again but this time lift your sac."

Yeah. Film and television is awesome.

Gainfully Employed (Again)

I got a job!

And it's not from temping!

As you may or may not have guessed from the post below, I have a new job back in the "entertainment" industry. Now, I don't put "entertainment" in quotes because I'm working in porn, I haven't fallen that far yet but it's close.

I got a job working on a reality television show (though I probably should have put "reality" in quotes). I had a friend who was completely overworked and she needed an assistant in post production and I needed a job and we came together like peanut butter and chocolate. I got a job working on a major studio lot and she got the help she needed.

I'm not sure how long this will last, I'm guessing for a while since there doesn't really seem to be any kind of legit work on television shows but we'll just have to wait and see. I'll at least have a job for the next three months which is a great weight from my financially loaded shoulders.

All in all, I'm grateful to have the job and I am learning stuff about post production so I guess it'll come in handy somewhere down the line.

Something you'll probably never hear at your job:

"I'm going to go look at prostitutes."

Mind you this is an edited clip he's talking about reviewing, but still.