Video of the Day: Poor Cat

That kid is going to get his someday...oh yeah.

Video of the Day: Mark the Retard

Fun at the DMV

I had an appointment at the DMV this morning and I am surprised to say it went well. Los Angeles is notorious for having horrible, hell inducing DMVs but the one local to me was, dare I say, almost pleasant.

I don't know how it could have actually been pleasant fore I believe that no matter what they have to make it drap, least people have too much fun at the DMV and want to go there all the time. As it stands now, no one really likes a trip to the DMV and will try to avoid it at all costs, like I was doing.

But my trepidations were for naught. I made an appointment online for 9 a.m. went in early to fill out the paper work and got out by 9:11 exactly. And I got what I'd come for: A 60 day temporary car tag while I try and repair my car to bring it up to CA smog standards.

If it turns out I can't, then at least I will have my car long enough (well, legal long enough) to continue to drive to work, since the show's production ends the first week of October and I'll have till the end of the month to continue driving. After that I will either have to get a new car or return to Public Transportation. *sigh*

We shall see what becomes of that and I will hope for the best.

Video of the Day: Frisky Tito

Apparently cats love boobs just as much as frat boys.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words Friday: If Only

Video to Make Me Feel Better: Finnish YMCA Cover

Not only did it make me laugh after my stressful day, but I think it turned me gay. No, really. I think I grew a penis and still had a hankering for dick.

Worry Wart

I like to worry. Well, I don't like to worry but whenever I find myself worrying it's like a domino effect and one worry leads to another and to another and so on and so forth until in my mind the world has ended in an apocalypse.

Yesterday was a good day for me. I did good. I did Something Right and by the end I was walking out of the office on a high. Today, however, not so much.

I made a mistake at work. I take responsibility for my mistake and have learned a valuable lesson that I already knew but last night I went against my better judgment and finished up work at home and this afternoon I had my boss give me a little talk about stuff that was missing and or wrong. Naturally, in my head I freaked the fuck out and even now I can feel the pressure in my mind as I go over every little detail and beyond on how I Fucked Up.

Since I Fucked Up I was told to redo the work and I did but I am now worrying that I have Fucked Up again and am on pins and needles that my boss is going to email me or call me telling me that despite my second chance I have still Fucked Up. I will not be fine probably until Monday when the boss is finished working on the outline.

I know that I shouldn't be as stressed as I am but I can't help it, again, it's my nature and I'm realizing how mentally addictive it is for me to nit pick myself and thus far I've gotten myself to the point where I'm waffling between I'll never work in this town again and throwing a childish tissy fit that when I have my own show I'll be better off.

In order to calm myself down I actually had to pour myself a glass of red wine (Momma calm down, it was one glass and I'm not becoming an alcoholic). But while the rest of my body was relaxed and at ease my mind was still going a mile a minute with all the possible new ways I could have fucked up.

One thing is for sure, I will never work at home again. Home is play and relax time and I can't concentrate. And the second thing is that various gods and dieties will be hearing me asking for favors for the next few days. Zeus, I'm looking at you.

Video of the Day: David Blaine Street Magic

I Think I've Been Had

About two weeks ago I was talking to one of my co-workers who's down the hall from me in production and we're hanging out after hours and he telling me how ignorant of TV he is, so much so that he's dating an actress on one of the most popular TV shows out there now and he had no idea who she was. I asked him what her name was and he tells me. I will admit I was impressed, not so much by the fact of who he was dating, but by the fact that he honestly had no idea who she was. That smacked of a bit of B.S. to me but I let it go 'cause we were on our way to a one a.m. dinner at Dennys.

However, today I'm reading a gossip blog and there's a post about said actress and her boyfriend and the name is not of my co-worker. With a puppyish head cock to the side I go, "hmmm" and rethink our conversation. I come to three possible answers: 1) they have broken up and she has moved on very quickly 2)I misheard what he said due to loud music and the conversation might have been in past tense 3) he's lying and I've been had.

He seems like a nice guy so I don't want to think badly of him, but I also don't want to bring this up either. It would be awkward and there's no real subtle way to go, "Hey, you know that actress girlfriend you were dating? Well, apparently she's banging someone else."

Methinks I'll just let it go.

Faux Penis Envy

Have you ever felt just, I don't know, totally useless? I find myself feeling that way a lot lately. And I know it's probably just me being my own worst critic but even still I worry about my performance. Or, to put it more bluntly, whether I measure up.

I have, what I have just made up right now, Faux Penis Envy, or F.P.E. It's not like Freud's penis envy where he thought women wanted a penis of their very own cause the things just look like so much fun (and not to mention practical) but I'm basing my F.P.E. on the real penis envy, where dudes think their little dudes just don't measure up to everybody else's dudes.

For some reason I always feel like I don't measure up. And in reality I have no idea what's going on but that doesn't even matter cause the only thing I care about is what's going on in my head. Unless what's in my head actually happens in real life and it either confirms what I'm worried about or it doesn't and my nerves are calmed.

Like I said, I'm probably worrying too much but I can't bring myself to believe that. If anything I don't think I worry enough. I need to relax and I'm sure Karen and Mike will have awesome, super ways of doing that.

Observation

It's not very fun to watch Food Network when you're hungry. Not. At. All.

Are You There God?

It's me. I know I bitch and moan to you constantly about how unfair my life is (really, why aren't I dating Keanu Reeves, I asked you for that years ago) and how I need more money and a new car but that I can over look.

What I can't overlook is that when I ask you for a new, hot bodied male neighbor after the geeky, sweaty bodied neighbor moved out, you give me what? C'mon God, fess up. What was it? C'mon, out with it...that's right, you give me a black chick as a new neighbor which is no where near what I asked you for.

Shame God, shame. I'm sure you give those kids in Africa the corn or rice or whatever the hell it is they want.

Oh, wait...nevermind.

Video of the Day: Tokyo Wading Pool

Seeing this literally made my skin crawl. My god.

Observation

Oreo's new Cakesters are like lite, puffy, chewy orgasms. And they taste good too.

Skin Issues

So it seems that my skin blemishes didn't end with the nasty bed bugs. Now I've got different bumps of a different kind and I'm not sure where these came from, though I suspect foul play.
No, not really. I suspect that my skin is either reacting to me getting hair spray on it or it's not happy with the new bedsheets. To fix the first problem I'm no longer using the hair spray as for the second those sheets are going to be washed in hot water. The bed sheets should be happy I'm giving them the chance. The last time I suspected bed sheets of damaging my skin I threw them out without so much as a second thought.

The thing with my skin though is that I've got great skin. It's awesome. It's got a nice tone and everything. But the drawback to that is whenever something is agitating my skin it breaks out like a California forest fire. It's not even gradual, one morning my skin is fine, the next it's riddled with bumps. My face seems to be the litmus test for possible irritations, as the rest of my body is totally fine (aside from the bug bites).

Thank god for Calimine lotion. I know I must have looked like was doing a sorry assed attempt to start a Pink Man Group last night, there was so much irritated territory to cover, but this morning the bumps seems to be drying out. Let's hope this continues...

Video of the Day: Pimp My Credit Commercial

Damn Hummer

I come home from a hard days work at my job and a good workout at the gym and what do I find in my parking space? A fucking Hummer. I don't know why it was there or whose it was but I was not happy. That's my $25 a month parking space and I happen to like it. I parked in another slot this time but if the fucker is there tomorrow I'm blocking the asshole in.

And later I will complain to the landlord.

Damn Hummer.

Video of the Day: Squirrel Falling Over

No Bit

I had the pleasure, or eventual lack thereof, to watch Norbit last night before I bleached my brain with a night out at a MOCA show.

I admit I laughed a bit in the beginning, and every single time I covered my mouth, surprised at myself. Perhaps there was something in my brain that new later on I'd regret laughing in the first place.

To say Norbit is mean would be an understatement. It's a film that thinks awful of just about everybody, so maybe I should be happy about that. However it seems to take most of its hatred out on fat black women, who don't have enough awful stereotypes about them. You see, Norbit, who's an idiot savant without the savant, is a put upon skinny man who is strongholded into a marriage with Rasputia, that's right, her name is a play on Rasputin, get it? Har har har.

If you didn't get her evilness from her name then you get it from her actions, whether she's verbally or physically abusing Norbit. I don't know, perhaps in another film, spousal abuse would be funny. But just because it's woman on man abuse doesn't make it so, it just makes it sad.

If it's not Rasputia who's being awful then it's the horrific Chinese caricature Mr. Wong played by Eddie Murphy himself. This portrayal of yellowface only stems to serve the belief that black people can get away with racist behavior that white people cannot. Had a white person been in black face talking about chicken and watermelon, all hell would have broken loose and rightfully so. So why is it okay for Murphy to do it?

The film is tedious overall and not really funny. Norbit finds salvation from his wife in the form of Thandi Newton though why on Earth she's in this film is beyond me. From the look of the sets I can't believe this film cost more than 40 million so I can't believe that she got paid much. Murphy is the real criminal here, because until I saw the credits I was lead to believe that this was just another horrible opportunity for him to dress in fat drag he'd stumbled upon and then I saw that he not only came up with the story (with brother Charles, "Charlie Murphy! Murphy), but he co-wrote the script and produced this mess. Which makes his Oscar loss justifiable for me.

I know, I know; Norbit shouldn't have any bearing
on the work he did on Dreamgirls but this really just goes to show that for actors, what works usually come after they win the Oscar show that they probably shouldn't have gotten it in the first place. None more so than Halle Berry and Cuba Gooding Jr. I'd bet money that had Catwoman/Perfect Strangers come out before the Oscars she might not have been able to get up there and perform her crying. Ditto for Gooding Jr. and Snow Dogs. The same would go for Charlize Theron and "Aeon Flux," And I'm pretty sure everyone understands Kim Basinger's win for L.A. Confidential was a total fluke.

Maybe that should be a rule from now on, you don't get your Oscar until they see what's coming behind it. Because at least in the case of Murphy, people didn't like what came before it.

Video Of the Day: Kitten Smackdown

Last few seconds are great. That will end a fight every time.

Movie Premier Update

So it seems like Leonardo DiCaprio was at the movie premiere after all and I missed seeing him.

I'm heartbroken. No, really. I am. My heart is leaking out of my body as we speak. It hurts a little, but I know it's my fault.

My First MoviePremiere

Well, the first one I saw I should say. Let's hope that my first movie premiere that I'm involved in is still on the horizon.

I was at the gym and across the street they were having the premiere for this film, which, looking at it means I probably didn't miss much. Unless Leonardo DiCaprio was there but I doubt that judging from the small crowd of screaming girls. It seemed relatively tame and there wasn't that much security so I'm to guess that paparazzi and young girls don't care too much about the environment.

Reasons to Relax and Bug Update

So I'm going to choose to believe that spending 10 bucks on ointments yesterday is helping my bug bites, though a few on my hands don't look like they're going anywhere anytime soon. There are some elsewhere on my body that are slowly fading so I'm gonna say the ointments are speeding up their progress.

And I'm super stressed today, for no real reason just I'm anticipating the worst at work, which I have no real reason for since I am doing my job. I'm just worried people are work are going to think/accuse me of slacking off. It's worrisome being an assistant sometimes. But in a week or so I'll be home free. Keep your fingers crossed.

Battle of the Bugs

More so battle of the bug bites.

I still have a lot of bumps from my bed bug encounter and now I'm bringing out the big guns to treat them. Thanks to my wonderfully knowing mother who gave me advice on what to do I now have three weapons against the bumps: Aveno lotion (with oatmeal like mommy said), an antibiotic ointment for the possible infection and calamine lotion to sooth me at night.

Hopefully this will work cause I'm sick of my arms looking like a mine field.

Video of the Day: Chocolate Rain

Monday Good News

Well. Not necessarily good news. My car didn't pass smog inspection on Saturday (shhh, don't tell the LAPD) so now I've got 30 days to get 'er fixed and I took my car in to Pep Boys today and they said that a basic tune up will cover what needs to be fixed for the smog inspection, though he couldn't guarantee that it would pass. So this weekend I've got to take my car in on a Saturday morning and leave it there all day and hope to god it gets fixed cause if it doesn't then come September I'll either have to use all my savings to get another car or else I'll be back on L.A.s oh so not too terribly good public transportation. Either way sucks cause I'm not financially ready for the responsibility of car payments nor do I want to get back on the Metro.

So, like Peter Pan did for Tinkerbell, lets all clap our hands for my Camry in the hopes that my baby will pass its next smog inspection.

Film Review: The Bourne Ultimatum

To bad this is probably the last in the Bourne franchise 'cause they really do get better and better.

I saw this at sold out show on Saturday and it was great fun with very little downtime throughout the film. It really does jump from action scene to action scene but unlike Transformers there's an actual story and plot and my god I found myself caring about the characters.

I don't want to give too much away that would spoil the fun but in this *final* installment we find Bourne closing in on just what exactly happened to him to turn him from the kid named David Webb from MO (look at Missouri, producing bad ass assassins) into hard driving, always escaping, beat your ass with a rolled up magazine Jason Bourne (and if you haven't seen The Bourne Supremacy, please do, that magazine bit was the shit). He's in a race with his former bosses from the CIA, including Joan Allen as Pamela Landy, who may or may not be on his side, to find a CIA mole who knows the origin of Jason Bourne. What I like most about these films is that they somehow managed to get all of the cast back so even though the films are years apart it really feels like they were made back to back and someone was thankfully paying attention to continuity.

The action set pieces are some of the best I've seen in years. I thought it would be hard to top the rolled up magazine, however this installment finds Bourne kicking ass and taking names with a book. Hell's yeah. The great action set pieces were met with either audience applause or muted, "Oh my gods" which is always a good sign for action films. My only real compliant with this film, and the series overall, is that the action is filmed with a hand held camera instead of a steady cam. I know this is supposed to pull the audience into feeling like they're there, however it's just confusing and you can't really see what's going on when the fighting gets intense. Aside from that, it was great.

The War on Bugs

So I was at Comic-Con a weekend ago. I came back Sunday night and by Tuesday morning I noticed these little red welts that sprung up on my arm. I figured them for insect bites and they itched like hell. I changed my bed sheets but by Thursday I still had a new set of red bumps cropping up, this time on my legs.

My mother, god bless her, told me that I probably brought back bed bugs with me from the crappy hotel I stayed at (there were several problems with my first nights stay) and that I needed to wash my sheets in hot water, and probably all the clothes I'd worn as well.

I did her one better: I threw out both sets of sheets I'd used last week, sprayed down my futon mattress with a good dose of RAID, as well as spraying my favorite pillow and the big quilt I had. I then took my big quilt down to the laundry room and ignored the sign that said "Please don't wash big quilts" and shoved my big quilt into the washer. Even though my big quilt is multicolored I put the wash on "whites" to get that scalding hot water my sheets so desperately needed (and to also get the smell of RAID out of the quilt).

Did it work? I have no idea. New welts keep cropping up, to the point now where I'm going to mark them with clear nail polish to keep track of them. Some of the older ones are drying out I think but those little bug fuckers bit my nose and under my eye making it look like I had two bright red zits on my face. And that's what prompted my revenge via RAID.

I certainly hope it worked, 'cause i don't know what else to do beside rewash everything that came into contact w/anything I was wearing at Comic-Con and to get a new mattress, which I don't want to do.

Video of the Day: The Soup Presents Rainbow Brite

Too frakkin' funny.

Second Guessing Everything

What prompted this topic? The fact that I just emailed my co-workers a correction email and now I'm fretting if I should have used the word "appreciate" rather than "like".

Damn I need to relax.

Video of the Day: Keanu Reeves vs. Teddy Bears

My gawd that man was hot. Still is.

Someday, I'm Going to Give Myself Food Poisoning

I have a habit of buying food, putting it in my refrigerator and then forgetting it's there. And then sometimes, days, or even weeks later, I'll find it when I'm foraging through my fridge for food and wonder if it'll kill me if I eat it. Usually this ends with my mother getting a call and questions like, "What if it doesn't smell too bad?"

Usually the call will end with me throwing out said food, but sometimes -- just sometimes -- I'll go ahead and test fate and eat it.

Nothing has happened yet but someday, I'm going to give myself food poisoning...