Someday, I'm Going to Give Myself Food Poisoning

I have a habit of buying food, putting it in my refrigerator and then forgetting it's there. And then sometimes, days, or even weeks later, I'll find it when I'm foraging through my fridge for food and wonder if it'll kill me if I eat it. Usually this ends with my mother getting a call and questions like, "What if it doesn't smell too bad?"

Usually the call will end with me throwing out said food, but sometimes -- just sometimes -- I'll go ahead and test fate and eat it.

Nothing has happened yet but someday, I'm going to give myself food poisoning...